No use in bucking the trend for eating candy Easter eggs
Over the years, doctors and researchers have been going back and forth on the nutritional value of eggs. Eggs started off as good for us, spent quite a few years as bad for us and now seem to have somehow become good again.
I don't bother reading all the scientific and medical research when it comes to Easter eggs. If the egg is made of chocolate, it is good. This applies to all types of candy eggs.
I really don't care what the egg-shaped chocolate contains - peanut butter, coconut, butter cream, a big lump of sugar or air. All of them are worth sinking my teeth into.
(Of course, at my age, I try to avoid marshmallow and other gooey fillings. If I sink my teeth into a marshmallow egg, I might not get all of them back.)
Such was not the case when I was a kid. I fearlessly attacked whatever Easter candy came into my path, including even the marshmallow Peeps.
Those candies served two purposes. A couple of Peeps would clear my palate between different chocolate candies that the Easter Bunny thoughtfully left in my basket.
The marshmallow candy would also be a last resort in maintaining an unbelievably high sugar level. The day after Easter, I would be sifting through the artificial straw in the basket to see if I had missed some Peeps or jelly beans.
I didn't acquire a taste for my all-time favorite candy Easter eggs until my adulthood - peanut butter filling covered in chocolate.
I am not prejudiced when it comes to chocolate; I will eat dark, milk and white chocolate. If they ever come up with an egg consisting of white chocolate, covered in milk chocolate and coated again with dark chocolate, it might displace peanut butter eggs at the top of my Easter list.
There is good news and bad news when it comes to my wife Jo Ann and peanut butter Easter eggs. The bad news is that she cannot eat chocolate because it gives her a headache.
I cannot imagine what it would be like not to be able to eat chocolate, but Jo Ann accepts this chocolate problem with good grace. I would accept it with frequent headaches.
The good news is that Jo Ann can still eat peanut butter, particularly the sweetened kind found in Easter eggs. This has led her to develop the surgical skills of an experienced doctor.
Jo Ann uses a steak knife to carve the chocolate off of a large peanut butter Easter egg. She gets the peanut butter and you know who gets some extra chocolate trimmings to go with his regulation peanut butter egg.
(Don't feel too badly for Jo Ann. Whenever we eat pizza with her Aunt Prunella, her aunt cannot eat cheese or pepperoni so she gives those to Jo Ann.)
Now that I have the means to buy all the peanut butter Easter eggs that I could without going into sugar shock, I must exercise self-restraint.
I try to limit myself to splitting one fair-sized Easter egg with Jo Ann once a day or once every other day.
There are times when I am tempted to disobey this self-imposed quota, but one look at my X-rays from my last visit to the dentist generally convinces me to stick to my limit.
I don't need much self-control at all when it comes to the "other" kind of Easter eggs - the ones that come from chickens.
Even when I was a kid, I realized that there were only three activities I could do with hard-boiled eggs - color them, eat them or buck them.
There was a generous paint store owner in our town who would dye eggs for free. Some years, my folks, brothers, sister and I would try to dye our own.
These eggs were never artistic masterpieces, but they were colorful. The only problem was that sometimes the dye would seep through the shell and into the egg. When blue dye soaked the yellow yolk, it produced a shade of green that did not tempt the taste buds.
But that was OK. While the candy Easter eggs were for eating, the colored hard-boiled eggs were for bucking. This is sort of like a demolition derby for poultry products.
Each of us kids would pick out an egg and take on another sibling by bucking (banging) our eggs together. The kid whose egg cracked first would have to eat it.
As an additional punishment, he or she would have to watch as the winner moved on to take on another sibling.
Sometimes, we would get so caught up in the competition that the four of us kids might go through five or six eggs apiece. There are only so many green-yolked eggs you can eat without upsetting your stomach.
Fortunately, the remedy was near at hand. Chocolate-coated Easter eggs always seemed to help.
That's why if you're not feeling up to par on Easter, I would advise to you take two chocolate eggs and call me in the morning.
(Kozlowski, a freelance writer from Mount Carmel, composes "Walt's Way" for each Sunday edition.)