A dose of 'jarcasm'
You may be wondering what exactly is Jarcasm? You won't find it in any dictionary of note, but jarcasm indeed could be a fine candidate for submission. Have you seen some of the more recent entries? Rather than evolving, English is devolving, but that is a treatise for another day.
Simplified, jarcasm is when you enlist sarcasm with a bunch of surly Jarheads breaking down the meaning of it all. "Surly Jarheads," to paraphrase Jack Nicholson playing Col. Nathan Jessup in "A Few Good Men": "Is there any other kind?"
Jarcasm certainly has soul and, therefore, it is fitting to introduce it to the greater world on this Memorial Day weekend, as we remember those who gave the supreme sacrifice defending the United States from all enemies, both foreign and domestic.
Over the past year, I have been stockpiling such verbal delicacies both near and far. To no surprise, the unprintable outnumbered the printable. Given this is a family publication, we honor the latter and to reference Obama, it's time to "spread the wealth."
The brig at Guantanamo Bay is back in the news. Obama, whose jurisprudence is full of juris but absent of any prudence, still wonders if there is an alternative to Gitmo. He's had more than four years to find one. How about this idea? Declare Gitmo a small business and require it to comply with ObamaCare, and the place will be boarded up in no time like Detroit.
Obama put a loose cannon like Joe Biden in charge of getting gun control legislation through Congress. No lucid individual would put Biden in charge of bringing ice cubes to a picnic.
The state of Washington hit the proverbial liberal jackpot by legalizing both gay marriage and marijuana. When one contemplates the Biblical implications of two such events, it does in fact jive with Leviticus 20:13: If a man lies with another man they should be stoned. The problem was conservatives were interpreting it incorrectly. Leave it to a bunch of liberal Democrats from the state of Washington for setting us straight - politically.
The Joint Chiefs, a pun-filled title if there ever was one, need to be more concerned about effectiveness of our military than its overall size. Since former Generals Petraeus and Allen were surrounded by mistresses, they were led to believe that only size matters.
The Federal Reserve has unveiled a redesigned $100 bill with numerous security checks, making the bill quite different from the old one. Given it's the most-used bill in the worldwide drug trade, Ben Franklin has undergone a much needed makeover. Franklin's mug is still there except he's now smiling showing off a gold grill, wearing a doo-rag, with two tear-drop tattoos under his right eye and some Chinese writing tattooed on his neck.
The military won't prosecute Nidal Hasan who killed 13 people at Fort Hood for murder. But weren't those people Hasan murdered sent to meet Allah? That would make Hasan guilty of proselytizing on active duty - a big no, no. But not in Hasan's case, as such senseless standards only apply to Christians.
When Obama refused comment on the murder trial of abortion butcher Kermit Gosnell "because it's an active trial," it was just another healthy dollop of dishonesty. It never prevented him from saying Trayvon Martin could have been his son or when his buddy Harvard professor, Henry Gates, was arrested saying the police acted, "stupidly."
The Boston Herald reported the Tsarnaev family received $100,000 in welfare. No opportunity is better for politicians to cite this example as to why welfare reform is so desperately needed. But since gutless and federal politicians can be synonyms for each other, expect nothing to come of it.
In light of the times, the Boy Scouts' motto, "Be Prepared," has taken on a whole new meaning.
Once upon a time in America, it was baseball, apple pie and Chevrolet. Today, it's political hardball, food stamps and being gay. So much for Ronald Reagan's Biblical juxtaposition that America is a shining city on the hill. It's more like a crack-house in the 'hood.
More Jarcasm is still to be had and it's on four wheels making the trip to Quantico, Va., on June 11 to visit the Marine Corps Museum and then the Iwo Jima Memorial to take in the famed U.S.M.C. Silent Drill Team and Drum and Bugle Corps. Seats are available, and the bus fare is $35. The Black Diamond Detachment of the Marine Corps League can be reached at P.O. Box 98, Mount Carmel 17851.
(Greg Maresca, a freelance writer, composes "Talking Points" for each Sunday edition.)