...why are we talking about $30 Kardashian socks?
Did we just read an article about $30 Kardashian socks?
I will give Rob Kardashian one thing: He is donating one pair of overpriced socks to shelters for every pair sold.
But that's where I'm stopping.
First of all, $30 for a pair of socks,that look like they should be sold at Five Below as a set of five pair for $5, is atrocious.
Second, who, "personally, has a thing for socks" - a passion, even, that burns so strongly, it drives them to start their own hideous, overpriced sock line?
Most importantly, are we seriously not done with the Kardashians yet?
We've kept up with them since 2007. They've taken Miami and New York; now they are taking Miami again. Given the title of those shows alone, I'd worry someone unfamiliar would really think they are some kind of pandemic overtaking major U.S. cities.
But aren't they?
I'm confident in saying the Kardashians are a plague.
In addition to the long run of the reality show that made them all "famous," we've been guests at two of their weddings, one which lasted only 72 days, which, if you recall, was longer than my Glade Plug-in.
They're all over the Internet.
They're all over TV.
They have makeup, clothing and sock lines.
They're the most popular family on Instagram.
They're on the cover of every tabloid in the check-out aisle.
I'm so tired.
I can't keep up with any more Kardashian.
My Kardashian container is at capacity.
Make it stop.
I feel like they are going to start crawling out of the television with their long dark hair covering their faces like the little girl from "The Ring."
I hope, but severly doubt, Kim Kardashian was listening when Jodie Foster said this of "reality television" in her Golden Globes' speech (She should have been taking notes):
"You know, you guys might be surprised, but I am not Honey Boo Boo Child. No, I'm sorry, that's just not me. It never was and it never will be. Please don't cry because my reality show would be so boring.
"But seriously, if you had been a public figure from the time that you were a toddler, if you'd had to fight for a life that felt real and honest and normal against all odds, then maybe you too might value privacy above all else. Privacy. Some day, in the future, people will look back and remember how beautiful it once was. I have given everything up there from the time that I was 3 years old. That's reality-show enough, don't you think?"
(Jenna Wasakoski, a News-Item editor, is a graduate of Von Lee School of Aesthetics and is certified as a professional makeup artist.)