...it's only make believe, so make no apologies
It's that time of year again.
Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. It affords you the opportunity to be creative and make no apologies, yet, like anything else, there are those who can find a needle of negative in a haystack of rainbows and kittens and make a big deal out of not much. They take to the pulpit to chastise Halloween and its heathen-like behavior and it gets a little exhausting.
My advice? Calm down.
Origins of Halloween
Whether you think Halloween originates from Christianity as the eve of All Saints Day or you think it has pagan roots, my advice is just relax.
Halloween is fun. Plenty of celebrated holidays in the U.S. have brutal background stories - I'm looking at you, Columbus Day - yet they are still celebrated, and if you have the right job, they even get you a day off work.
Live in the now. No one is burning witches at the stake that I'm aware of, at least locally, so if there is no harm being done, what is the sense of arguing about whether it is unholy?
Many modern-day Halloween celebrations benefit a variety of good causes, so digging up the bones of where it all originated and persecuting those who celebrate it as some kind of heathens only make you a ruiner of fun.
Candy is bad
I gave up sugar completely last year for a few months and I never felt better in my life.
Sugar is awful for you.
I tried really hard to stay off the white stuff, but then summertime came around and going without ice cream will never be acceptable in my life, so I fell off the roof of the sugar shack and have just tried to discipline myself to use it in moderation ever since.
It's so wrong, but it tastes so right. Unless you are diabetic, I encourage you to take the opportunity to indulge in as many mini KitKats and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups as you can fit in your pie hole in celebration.
This year's most talked about risque costume on the Internet, by my research, is the "Sexy Pizza" costume.
Like most sexified costumes, it's basically a minidress with contrasting colors resembling a slice of pizza with some toppings.
Is it stupid? I don't know. I guess that depends on your definition of stupidity. As someone with a gluten allergy, I can't say I've never been to James' Pizza and stared longingly at a slice while one of my friends were eating. Would I go so far as to say I think pizza is sexy? Well, that depends on the toppings and if it had hot cheese on it or not.
Nevertheless, girls are not going to stop dressing provocatively for Halloween, so my advice is, as ridiculous as they may get - from "Sexy Cookie Monster" to "Sexy Crayon" - just let it go.
Note: If it is your daughter, and she is still under your rule, you have the right to govern her. But, don't call her names and compare her to Miley Cyrus and shame her. Instead, maybe instill in her values so that she has enough self-worth to make that decision come time for a costume party to portray what she wants.
If you haven't done that, see Doc Brown and find yourself a Delorean.
I have never been a fan of stifling individuality, but I do understand the influence of pop culture. Shielding every young person from the evil influences of the world is almost impossible unless you live on a remote island or in my dream cabin in the woods with no TV and free streaming radio.
The best hope for our future is to instill values in our youth, not put them down and make them terrified of the world. Fear - although an appropriate tactic for Halloween - isn't the best overall tactic for molding young minds. It has its uses, sure, but - I'm getting off topic.
Girls are going to dress like floozies for Halloween. It is something we must accept as fact. If you don't like it, don't look at it. If you like it, it's probably one day you can get away with looking at it while not being considered a full-blown creep.
Personally, I try to dress like a trollop year-round, so come Halloween, I can get away with anything.
I'm kidding, of course (kind of). My style varies; I don't dress any "way" year-round, and the way I dress is in no way an indicator of my behavior as a lady.
Wearing a mask
There are people who put on an act their entire lives suckering people into thinking they are the bee's knees, when they are in fact, no better than a hornet's elbow.; they wear a mask every day. So what is the harm in being something you are not for an innocent holiday if you are otherwise generally true to yourself?
It seems we all, at some point in our lives, portray a persona which may be a less than accurate portrayal of who we are deep down.
I may like to dance around my living room when no one's looking, but that doesn't mean I'm going to do that in the middle of Turkey Hill or here in the newsroom.
We all tone it down all the time.
So, to Halloween, I say, if it's your thing, do it up, and if it's not, don't get your fishnets in a bunch. Just calm down; it will be over soon.
(Jenna Wasakoski, a News-Item editor, is a graduate of Von Lee School of Aesthetics and is certified as a professional makeup artist.)