...I am not using gluten-free beauty products
There has been a buzz lately about gluten-free beauty products and I'm sorry, but I don't think so.
As someone whose body cannot tolerate gluten whatsoever, it's hard enough.
I have to monitor every little thing I eat and drink. I'm constantly reading labels and asking a million questions at restaurants. Before I go out, I have to make sure where I'm going has something I can eat or drink.
Block parties went from one of my favorite pierogi and potato cake pastimes to a gluten-filled nightmare where I risk my insides by eating only french fries cooked in gluten-tainted oil and the occasional piece of sausage - mind you, not in hoagie form, but usually just slapped in a paper boat. Let me tell you, it's awfully fun being the gal trying to manipulate and balance a piece of sausage rolling around a paper boat at a block party.
And have I ever told you about my long lost friend, beer? Oh yes. Beer and I broke up when this whole gluten thing was discovered years ago and, although a couple of places in town give me a gluten-free beer option, I miss the variety. I loved beer. I loved all kinds of beer. And sometimes I just miss the plain old beer from the beer truck at block parties. At least I miss the convenience of it.
I'm sure it annoys some people when I have to be difficult because of my food allergy, but excuse me while I don't feel bad about that because you know who it annoys the most? Me.
I wish I could just go grab a slice of pizza or tap a beer at your house, but I can't.
Over the years, I've gotten used to it - even had fun with it when I cook - but it still remains a bit of an inconvenience.
Now, this whole gluten-free beauty product uproar becomes a thing.
Nope. Not happening.
I know a lot of people who can't have gluten and we all bond over what a pain in the dupa it is. We tip each other off to places that are gluten-friendly and recipes and the like.
What we've never done is swapped beauty secrets, because, I'm sorry, no matter how many articles I read telling me otherwise, I don't see how lotion or deodorant is going to get into my digestive system.
Lip balm, I guess I could see, though I've never gotten sick and I use about 47 different kinds, but honestly, if deodorant makes it's way into my digestive system, I've got some explaining to do.
According to Michael F. Picco M.D., of the Mayo Clinic, "Gluten-containing skin care products and cosmetics aren't a problem unless you accidentally swallow them."
Mentioned in another article on this page is Suntegrity "gluten-free" sunscreen. Do you know how much that will run you? For 1.7 ounces of SPF 30, it costs $45. At most stores, there is a brand called Baby Blanket. For $2.99, you can get the same amount of sunscreen with a whopping 45+ SPF. Oh, and it's also waterproof and you get to smell like an adorable baby. So you can take your Suntegrity where the sun doesn't shine, because it's far too rich for my blood.
It's bad enough a loaf of gluten-free bread costs about $7 and shatters into a pool of crumbs when you touch it, I'm not forking over $45 for sunscreen.
As gluten issues continue to grow, there will always be those who try to cash in. I see products labeled gluten-free that wouldn't, in any way shape or form, be a risk. I appreciate clear labelling, but don't try to sell it under that pretense in order to make a buck off someone's illness.
That's as bad as the selling of pink ribbon lighters for the American Cancer Society.
So, you can keep your high-priced gluten-free beauty products (although, like any good hypocrite, I'll still pay $20 for good eyeliner).
I'm sure it's possible some have gotten sick by using certain cosmetics, but perhaps it's another allergy they need to look into. As far as my knowledge goes, which, let's face it, depending on the day can be just a few inches, the only way to get sick from actual gluten is to ingest it.
They can try to start selling gluten-free clothing; I"m not buying it.
(Jenna Wasakoski is an assistant editor at The News-Item)