...Get over yourself, 'Arctic Vortex,' you're just cold
"Snow-maggedon," "Snowpocalypse," "Arctic Vortex."
What happened to just "winter?"
As a writer, I understand the tendency to be colorful and descriptive with words in order to increase the impact of the point one is attempting to get across.
But with weather, as well as many other media highlights, it seems a little extreme and exaggerated.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good exaggeration. I've been using that tactic for like 800 years now; I just don't know if it's the best idea to instill panic in a nation by calling a cold front an "Arctic Vortex," as if a secret portal is going to open up through which you can stumble into Eternia and hang out with He-Man and Skeletor.
How about it's just going to be cold - very cold? Watch your pipes, your pets, your heating oil levels, your extremities outside and all that good stuff. Take it seriously, but don't make it into a Hollywood production. People throughout history have survived much harsher conditions.
On one hand, I find it amusing and delightfully ridiculous, but on the other hand, I think it has an underlying motive to work people up, cause them to panic and up the sales of milk, bread and eggs.
I'm not saying it's a conspiracy; I hate conspiracy theories. I just recognize our world's tendency to make a mountain out of a molehill and a vortex out of a cold front.
Yes, that is the proper meteorological term, but it seems it got a little sensationalized to me.
Spring showers turn into "Water droplets assault the region," and May flowers prompt headlines like, "Angiosperms overrun area landscapes." Hot summer days will be hyped up by such words as: "Gigantic fireball toasting the flesh of fair-skinned human beings."
Weather is repetitive in a seasonal climate such as ours, and the cold blast we experienced this past week was brutal, but naming winter storms and using terms such as "arctic vortex" over and over only adds fuel to an already paranoid and panicked society. Give us the facts, please. Should we build an ark or grab some sunscreen?
Nevertheless, I'm ready for the startling invasion of unseasonsably mild temperatures on Saturday. Fifty degrees? Bring it.
(Jenna Wasakoski, a News-Item editor, is a graduate of Von Lee School of Aesthetics and is certified as a professional makeup artist.)