...baby, it's cold outside, and, to be honest, you're being a baby about it and so am I
You know who I feel bad for? Old Man Winter.
He's not even here yet and many are cursing his very existence.
Listen. It has been much colder since Tuesday than it had been in weeks prior, but last time I checked the calendar it was November and that's about average for this time of year.
Every summer it's too hot. Every winter it's too cold. For goodness sake, Goldilocks, suck it up. We live in a seasonal climate, and that's kind of amazing because we get to experience nature and all its various transitions of beauty.
I swear, if it weren't for the flowers of spring and the colorful leaves of fall, we'd probably whine and cry about those poor seasons, too. (Side note: If you complain and see no beauty in spring and fall, you may need to reevaluate your life.)
And, I'd like to openly admit I possess no innocence in this type of complaining. I may be one of the worst ones out there; just ask our sports editor.
I don't think I have a cold heart or ice water running through my veins instead of blood, but I'm in a constant state of cold.
All summer, I freeze in this office. I constantly wear a coat and have a coat or blanket covering my legs. I could probably make an ice cube by holding water in my frigid hands.
Now, our sports editor, we joke, runs on motor oil instead of blood since he shovels snow in shorts, but, at the risk of sounding about 50 years older than I am, I will tell you, I mind the cold. I really do.
And if I mind it in the summer, you can imagine the icicles that start to form on various parts of my body when the temperature drops near freezing.
However, I know it is one of those things in which I am being a big fat baby in whining about.
So for me, and the rest of us who cry when it's cold who are not homeless and aren't required to work outside to make a living, no, it is not fun when you get in your freezing car in the morning. No, it's not pleasant to step out of the shower when it's drafty. Time spent outside during chilly weather isn't something I'd exactly call enjoyable, but ponder this:
According to an article on EpochTimes.com, the coldest inhabited place in the world is Oymyakon, Russia. Their all-time low temperature recorded is -96.16 ° Fahrenheit. According to the article, "This small town has a population of approximately 500 people...and despite the cold, people still continue to live their lives and students attend school, unless it gets lower than --61.6 º Fahrenheit. Sometimes it gets so cold at night that birds freeze."
Seriously, people, birds freeze at night. Birds freeze, and I'm going to exaggerate here and, with absolutely no validity behind it, I'm going to say the poor things just freeze, in flight, mid-air and drop from the sky.
That is cold.
What is awesome about cold? Layers. Bundling up. Boots. Tights. Faux fur. Thermal. Flannel Sheets. Gloves. Cozy scarves. Wool hats. Fuzzy blankets.
Remember, when it's hot out, you can only legally strip down so far. In the cold, you can wear as many layers as you can physically pile on while maintaining adequate mobility. Who cares if you're walking around like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man?
Speaking of marshmallows, I don't know if it's a coincidence that the first line of Hot Chocolate's hit song from the 1970s "You Sexy Thing" is "I believe in miracles," but hot chocolate, the drink, is a miracle elixir of the gods on a snowy day. Nothing warms the insides quite like that moment you come in from shoveling snow, or better yet, playing in the snow, and peel off all your layers and cozy up to a mug of magical hot chocolate goodness.
I'm thinking wine might be lovely as well, but that may because wine and I started going steady recently and I don't exactly think it's fair to boast my adoration for other drinks while we're so hot and heavy at the moment.
I'm on fire
Dear Lord, thank you for campfires.
Honestly, if there is any better way to enjoy yourself, relax and stay warm, I've never experienced it. There is nothing better than sitting around a fire. Although it fits the description of another place, it's like heaven to me.
Snow is really pretty, and the skies don't tend to make it when it's just a little chilly. All the seasons are beautiful, but a good snow paints a kind of serenity on any landscape that makes all the complexities of the world stop in a simple blanket of white.
As I write this, coincidentally, the Weather Channel's Facebook page, to promote its awesome show "Freaks of Nature," states, "Cold is deadly. Respect it. Do not ignore it. Do not think it doesn't matter. Because if you do, it'll be the last thing you do in your life"
It honestly doesn't get that cold around here, though, so perhaps we should all take it down a notch on the complaining, but, still, be careful, and don't you dare leave your animals outside for long periods of time when it's dangerously cold; that, I will not tolerate.
Also, can someone please make a snowman with me this winter? He'll probably have his clothes stolen and be decapitated by sunrise given the reputation of my neighborhood, but that's something I'd really like to do. Afterwards, we can have an escalated snowball fight like in the movie "Dumb and Dumber" then I'll make us some hot chocolate.
(Jenna Wasakoski, a News-Item editor, is a graduate of Von Lee School of Aesthetics and is certified as a professional makeup artist.)